I'm Just a Girl

I loved that song when I was sixteen.  I remember having the cassette single when I got my driver's license.  I played it driving to school in my '85 Camaro after I got my DL (on the second try - but that's another story).  I was just a girl.  All pretty and petite.  I guess I still am.  Except I'm not.  I'm a woman these days.  A grown, married, mother of two.  So sometimes it's easy to get caught up in all that grown-ness and not notice everything that is happening around me.  I have been violated the past couple of weeks.  In ways I hope my friends and family never are.  I had my purse picked and my identity stolen.  For real.  Now, that will make a girl angry.  I'll set the scene...We're in Chi-town, all of us.  Let me just mention that we arrived to the big city with a single stroller.  That was supposed to be a double stroller.  That posed quite a challenge.  So, Sunday morning I do my best at being a dutiful wife and mother and strap both of my kids into that single stroller and have them standing on the street corner at 7:30 AM to say "yay, Daddy!" and hold up our beautiful encouraging signs.  Then, I took both squirming youngun's back up to the room to put on suitable clothes (they were in their pj's before) and set out to say the yay Daddy thing again, except we couldn't actually get to that 12-mile mark because that would mean me pushing that over-weighted single stroller across a 4 lane street that the marathoners are still running down...so I silently give up and decide to go get breakfast.  Where I get to eat about half of my breakfast wrap before the short one decides to make a scene in the quiet coffee shop.  I strap them both back in the single stroller again...and head off to find the end of the race.  Now, I know you're thinking there's no way that what I've described can take as long as it would take a person to run a marathon, but when you're married to an elite runner, sadly it is true.So we make our way to the "runner reunite" area where I purchase two $10 balloons "for Daddy." 

Okay, so that was a lot of rambling about not much, but I just wanted to share how the morning went.  It's tiring just reading that, right?  So as most of you know, when we went to lunch a short while later, my wallet was stolen.  I was the typical distracted mother.  More concerned with shoving a few pieces of food in my kids' mouth than anything else, so when that lady sitting right behind me bumped my purse and diaper bag, said she was getting her purse, and left...I didn't think much about it.  So a ruined trip, police report, and drive back home later, I'm still dealing with that.  Because I had to get a new driver's license.  That cost me $18.50.  And it was humid.  So my hair was big.  Really big.  I couldn't apply for a new Social Security card because the government was shutdown.  One of my zulily orders got canceled!  Because when they tried to charge my card, it didn't work anymore.  I've received two credit card rejection letters - I'm just hoping no one actually gave this person (me?) a credit card!  So, the point is, I was violated, and I was angry.  It's going to take me a while to get over it.

And then I was violated again.  In a more intrusive personal way, if possible.  I wish I could give all the gory details here, but I'm a very law-abiding and by-the-books person, so I'm not going to give any details.  I will say that someone was sending me facebook messages that painted a very delusional picture.  One that was very upsetting to me, and has caused me a lot of emotional turmoil.  It involved my workplace, so I'm at the mercy of the processes put in place there.  Once again, I feel like I was a distracted mother...in a hurry to get home to my children and my husband.  I ignored things that I probably shouldn't have ignored.  I smiled and nodded when maybe I should have talked to somebody?  But at the end of the day, I just wanted to get my work done and get out the door, dealing with whatever obstacles were in my way. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working out for me.  I can't help but feel I'm still a girl in a man's world where I work...So that's why I feel like both quotes at the beginning are appropriate ... because I'm just a girl...and my rights have been largely won, but not completely. 

Free your hair, and the rest will follow

The day we've been waiting for and waiting for finally came!  As of Friday, September 6, 2013, Ada was officially finished with her STARband.  I guess it's a little bittersweet for a few reasons.  First, because her head is still a little bit wonky.  Second, because she's always full steam ahead and figures if something is in her way, she'll just run straight through it (and that can hurt an Ada sans-helmet).  Mostly, however, I'm happy to get to see her sweet little head.  I'm sure she is already tired of us sucking on her forehead, but she'll get used to it.  The good (or bad?) news is that her hair is already full of curl and body, so the likelihood that the flat spot still remaining will be visible for much longer is very slim.  It's actually pretty hard to see already.  I realized this when I was trying to take some pictures of it a while back.  I was taking the pics while she was in the tub with her hair wet so that it would show, but it still doesn't really.  So I thought, "huh, if I have to try this hard to see it, maybe we just shouldn't worry about it anymore?"  Of course, I did still worry about it, and still do worry about it because I don't want her to be faced with anything down the road that I could have prevented.  It all goes back to the loads of guilt associated with being a parent, right? 

 Maddie is probably actually sad that we won't be going to Active Ortho once a month anymore (or she would be if she realized it), because she always loved going there!  They had toys and peppermints, and it wasn't her head they were messing with :)  So, it wasn't all bad, we had some fun times.

Keep Calm and Adjust Your Tiara

So, I know, it's been a long time.  I had planned on writing a new post at least monthly, and I've more than failed at that.  We've just had too many exciting things going on....Like A trip to San Francisco...a 10 year anniversary trip to Jamaica...a big birthday celebration...so who has the time to blog?  Not me.  Sorry.

Ada is still wearing her helmet, in case you were wondering.  We're working on 6 months now.  That's 2 months longer than I was hoping and expecting she'd be in it.  Her head does look much better, but she has a really stubborn flat spot on the back, top part of her little head that just won't pop out.  So every month we make a trip in to see Thomas and he says we shave a little more out of it and keep going.  But we're all tired of it, even Ada, or maybe especially Ada?  The only thing is that she believes (truly believes) that she is invincible, and that helmet is kinda her super power, so we're all afraid of her losing it for that reason. So here are some pictures I took along the way.

I wish I had the pics for May and June, but I think it was just too much of a regular part of life at that point, so most of the pictures we have are with the helmet.  I'm going to make a point to take more head shots tomorrow, though, and put them on here.  I think it will help me to have them all together for a comparison.  I feel like there hasn't been much change lately, although just looking at the pics from April, I can tell a world of difference now.  I just think that maybe we've reached the place we're going to reach, and we should just be happy with the good results we've gotten?  I'm eager to ask the pediatrician next week when we go for 1/3 year check ups.  Although I kind of expect her to defer to the orthotist and I know he'll recommend we keep going.

This is a more recent (albeit still a bit old) picture, and I do think her head shape is pretty good from the front.  And honestly, I think she has my hair, so all of this is probably for naught anyway :p

She's a beautiful little girl, and looks adorable in her helmet, too, but I'm anxiously awaiting a decision that we can be rid of the stinky (literally) thing!

How I Actually Look When I Run

We've all seen that picture a few times ( a meme I suppose it is), and chuckled, and thought, "yeah, pretty much," right?  Except that little girl still looks cute.  So, let me just start out by saying I'm not looking for a bunch of compliments here.  I just want to complain.  Whine a little, maybe?  That's exactly what I've been doing for about the past month to my friends.  Complaining and whining.  It all started one day at the track here at work.  I was out there giving it all I had (looking way funnier than that little girl, rest assured).  Feeling good, doing "intervals", a "track workout."  But when I finished, my right thigh didn't feel quite right.  It felt tight.  It kinda hurt.  So, I took some ibuprofen and went on my way.  Ibuprofen can fix almost any pain for me, so when it didn't make this one go away, I was a bit alarmed.  I kept up with my training plan, not willing to let a little soreness get in my way.  However, a few days later, it hurt even when I was just walking.  Every time I put my weight on my right leg I thought "ouch." :(  I took an extra day off, tried to rest, but mostly I just battled through the pain.  It was manageable, but unpleasant.   One morning Josh said something about a stress fracture, or a stress reaction.  I totally freaked out.  I googled.  I self-diagnosed.  I thought that could be a possibility, so I made an appointment at TOC.  I had to wait a few days before I could get in though, so I didn't run those days.  I felt a little silly going in there thinking I could have a stress fracture from my measly 20-mile/week running, and I could feel myself blushing when I answered their questions.  After x-rays and a few tests of my legs, the doc concluded I have a quad strain.  Said something about the fascia, and told me to take the rest of the week off, and load up on ibuprofen.  Yay!  Only a quad strain!  I took the few more days off, felt incredibly lazy, and then worked my way back into running the next week.  Now, while I'm incredibly happy that no signs pointed to a serious problem, my leg still hurts.  I have been able to run through it for the most part, but I have had to stop a couple times.  Now, in addition to this leg pain, I also developed a gnarly sinus infection.  I couldn't speak for a good 5 days.  At all.  I ran through that too.  People at work thought I was crazy.  But, you see, I'm doing this half marathon in a few weeks.  I've worked pretty darn hard to get to where I am, and I don't want to lose that.  So!  As a stepping stone on my way to that half, I did the Huff n Puff on the Bluff 15k this past Saturday.  This was the 2nd time I've run this race in it's entirety (I've done the relay twice as well), and I knew I could get a PR :)  I put on my cute new Nike tank, my running skirt, and my new bright pink PureFlow's and thought I was looking pretty good.  Until I went and looked at the photos from the race that were posted online last night.  This is where that funny little meme comes into play, because while I thought I was out there looking cute, this is how I actually looked:

Okay, in my defense, that is at the top of a hill, after a bunch of other hills, but that is not at all how I felt I looked.  This other one is slightly better:

It's a good thing they didn't have a mirror there!  That would have totally messed me up!  And so I kept going, and I had a great race.  I had 5 miles at <10 minute pace, one really slow mile (the bluff), and then 3 others that were right around 10 minutes.  Of course my finishing picture is just awful too.  Look at me - trying like heck to stay ahead of that much old lady!  No offense to her, she's awesome, but I don't like to see all the 60 year olds who are out there in better shape than I am :p

That looks like some awful form.  Sigh...I'm still happy with my finishing time.  And I'm happy with the effort I put forth.  So, I guess I need to work a little on my wardrobe selection.  And possibly a little camera avoidance!

I Do My Own Stunts

Knowing that we were headed for some helmet therapy for a while, I had time to do quite a bit of reading online about others' experiences with various types of bands.  One thing that seemed to be common across the board is that people react much better to one if it is decorated.  It makes it look less like a medical device (which it is) and more like a cute accessory.  I could understand how that would be the case, and thought we might as well have a little fun with the wretched thing.  So after much deliberation we chose the "I Do My Own Stunts" decal for Ada's STARband, complete with the cute skull and cross-bones.  It couldn't be more fitting for her because she thinks she is invincible now.  I made the comment to the orthotist in the beginning that at least the helmet might keep her from bumping her head all the time, to which he responded "sure, but you'd better watch her when you take it off."  He was absolutely right about that.  She's not the careful baby Maddie was.  She stresses me out with her constant pulling up on things, and thinking a perfectly acceptable way to get back down is just fall over, full force.  But back to the reason for this post:  the bling.  Here are some pictures in her styling STARband.

Josh applied the letters and the skulls, and then I finished it up with the polka dots, bows and the little rhinestones.  The decals are from blingyourband.com and they were really easy to put on.  Then we sealed it all up with some Mod Podge.  I'm not sure about that stuff, it already seems to be peeling off.  On the plus side, it just peels off like school glue, so it'll be easy to take off if we want.  The decals are vinyl so we can remove those if we want/need to as well.  I think it looks pretty cute.  Ada would make anything look cute.

We haven't been out that much since she started wearing it, for no particular reason, but we were out a bit more this past weekend.  We made a stop by one of the baby stuff stores Friday to get some (super cute) outfits for their spring pictures.  I didn't really notice any funny looks while we were there, but maybe those ladies see enough babies to have seen a STARband before?  However, we went to Red Robin Sunday evening, and I felt my defenses going up a bit.  First, there was a lady trying to secretly take a look, but she looked familiar, so I guess I was kinda staring at her too (trying to figure out who she was).  After a few minutes I realized it was Lee Marshall, from the local news.   Next, the little boy sitting beside us asked "what's wrong with her head?"  I started in, saying "she just has a flat spot we're trying to fix," but with the awful head cold I've got, my voice was almost gone.  His grandmother was clearly embarrassed that he'd asked and told him it was to protect her from hurting herself.  But she was wrong, and I hated that I couldn't correct her over the noise in there.  Maybe I should just make some flyers to pass out to people?  None of this phased Ada, by the way.  What baby doesn't love attention?  She got to sit in a big girl high chair, have her peaches, and take it all in.

As far as progress goes, it's been just over 2 weeks, but it seems like at least 2 months.  I think that's mostly because we've had to take her back for adjustments every few days.  She had a red spot on her ear that required two visits, then she had a spot on her cheek that warranted a trip.  Oh, and she amazingly had rubbed the skin off of a spot on her nose, right between her eyes.  It took me a couple of days to realize that was even possibly caused by the helmet.  She hasn't had any real sores, though I won't let that happen unless it somehow sneaks up on me, so she hasn't had to spend significant time out of the helmet like it seems some babies do.  Josh and I think we can tell some difference in her head already, but it could just be wishful thinking.  I'm not sure when they will do more measurements.  Maybe after a month?  The important measurement for Ada is the cephalic (or cranial index), which is [(head width)/(head length)]x100.  Ada's was 95 when we started, and that puts her at 2 standard deviations from normal (which a little less than 80).

Here are some pictures from February 12 (starting full-time treatment), and February 24 (around 2 weeks in).

We don't have to go back to visit the orthotist for a month unless we see more red spots.  I'm skeptical that we'll make it that long, but hopefully so!

Every Princess Needs a Crown

I got a call Thursday afternoon, finally, that Ada's helmet was in.  I made an appointment for 10 AM Friday to take her for the fitting.
 Here we are waiting for Thomas to bring it in.  Aren't we happy? :)

The fitting was pretty painless.  The STARband comes a little rough/big so that the orthotist can trim it down to fit better.  So, he placed it on her head and made some markings and took it to their shop to open up the ear and forehead areas a bit.  When he brought it back it did look better, but it's still too big and therefore slips around on her head when she moves.  It needs to be a little loose right now so that it'll fit her for a while.  He said we'd let her wear it for a couple of days to let it start conforming to her had, and then come back in Monday and trim some more.  So, that was it, and we were off.  Here's my little sweetie in her brand new pink STARband.

She didn't seem overly pleased about it, but by the time we made it home she was sleeping pretty well :)

The first day she was to wear the helmet 1 hour on/1 hour off, and have it off for naps and bedtime.  The second day was 2 hours on/1 hour off, no naps or bedtime.  The third day it doubled again, so 4 hours on/1 hour off, but this time adding in naps and bedtime.  So, last night she slept in the helmet. I was prepared for a long, restless night.  I didn't sleep good myself because I kept expecting her to wake up, and I was worried that it'd get twisted around on her head as she wallowed in her bed.  Much to my (happy) surprise she slept all night!  She woke up for about 5 seconds around 2 AM, but went right back to sleep.  She was still sleeping like a rock when I went in to check on her around 7:30.  Her head was a little sweaty, but no real red spots to worry about.  All in all, she has done very well these first few days.  She gets frustrated when it drops down over her eyes - usually when she is crawling and playing.  I hope the trim today will help alleviate that problem.  After the trip back today, we'll go back again in a week, and then start monthly visits.  I hate to wish time away, but I have to say I'm ready to get this going and get it done!  Preferably before we get into the hot, hot Alabama Summer!

The Delight of an Age Group Award

I consider myself a casual runner.  I run so that I can eat what I want (mostly) and not get too fat.  I'm a mid-packer, if that, but I've done better and I've done worse.  I've finished last in a 5k.  I've FALLEN at the finish line (with the whole town watching).  I've done all I can to stay ahead of the ambulance bringing up the rear.
 
But sometimes, if I'm having a good day, and I'm really lucky, I get an age group award.  These little babies are wonderful - you get a medal/trophy/certificate, and they even call out your time (okay, that part isn't always so great).  And everyone claps for you.  You get to take your picture with your "hardware."  You might even get a $10 gift certificate to the running store.  That's all good stuff.  But the best thing you get with an age group award is a nice little confidence boost.  It makes you think..."huh, I am a winner even though I'm not the winner..." and we all need that sometimes.  It's a reason to go out and run another 5k, and maybe try a little harder than you would have otherwise.  And that's what everyone, everyone, everyone needs!  This past weekend I got an age group award AND a new PR for the 2-mile (17:33), and I'm pretty proud of myself.  It makes me think that maybe I can shave a good bit off of my 15k and half-marathon times in the next few months :)  All of that encouragement, from a little trophy.